About 11 years ago, I found my first podcasts and I fell in love. I've talked about the story before so I won't go too deep into it, but the short version is when I was moving out during my divorce, and I didn't have cable set up in my new apartment, but I had internet so when it came to entertainment while I was unpacking, I didn't have much else but my phone.
So I opened the newish purple app called iTunes (now Apple Podcasts) and began exploring what was available. I had a friend who listened to podcasts and I thought it was cool that there were these great audio shows available for free, so I tried it out.
When I found the first two podcasts that got me hooked — "Good Job Brain" and "The Story Song Podcast" — I knew I had found something special. Podcasts got my mind off the mental burden of navigating a divorce and the stress that comes with it, plus it gave me a way to experience socializing, without feeling like my divorce was all people could think about or focus on, which was what it was like with our mutual friends at the time.
In my newfound love of podcasts, I wanted to find even more to listen to. Maybe ones that could help me navigate what I was going through as a mom of a young child who wasn't quite sure what kind of mom she wanted to be for her kids.
I tried a few podcasts geared toward moms, but none ever quite fit. I wasn't a Type A mom (and still not) and couldn't relate to the Pinterest/Blogging Moms as much as I wished I could have. It took a long time for me to find a parenting podcast by a mom I could relate to, but when I did, I got hooked. FAST.
If there’s such a thing as a podcast-crush, I had it.
I binged all of the episodes, I wasn't a power-podcast listener like I am now and I listened at 1.0x speed and never used the skip button, even when the Skype calls would cut out. I didn't care that the dropped calls weren't edited out like I would now.
I didn't care. Once I went through the back catalog in a matter of days, I went back and relistened to my favorites.
It wasn't even a podcast that was particularly groundbreaking — it was a mom who had a more simple approach to parenting than the hustle-parenting culture I felt was easy to get swept up in. And she would have weekly conversations with different guests who were blogging and writing books similar to what she was writing about.
I adored her and her blog. I would wake up on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays and read her new blog posts as soon as they were posted that morning; I'd use her affiliate links happily to buy the stuff she recommended; and of course, I bought her books and devoured them in days. When I was out of blog posts of hers to read, I would check out the guests she had on her show, and follow them on social media or read their blogs and books.
As much as I adore all the podcast hosts I've listened to over the years, she was probably the first parasocial relationship I really felt with a podcast host — I knew so much about her and felt like a close friend, in a way, and yet she had no idea who I was, aside from the few interactions we had in the comments of her blog. But I constantly talked about her and her podcast, to the point where my then-boyfriend/now-husband even knew her name and I didn't have to preface it with, "you know, from the mommy podcast I listen to."
Thinking about all the things I got into because of her podcast, my quick list includes journaling, daily planning, organizational methods, living simply and intentionally, mindfulness, enneagram (I’m a 9w1), Myers-Briggs (INFP), farmer's markets, and CSA farm shares. She talked about her time living in Austin, Texas, so fondly that I suggested it as a destination for our honeymoon and we ended up going there and I got to experience a lot of the places she talked about.
Obviously, I loved this podcast and the host.
Until I didn't. And I didn't see it coming.
There was no specific turning point, but I remember about a year after I found the podcast, she began a new chapter in her life where she wanted to travel with her kids more and was planning a trip around the world with them.
I found myself straining a bit to stay interested when she spoke about it, but I honestly had trouble. My daughter was 2 by that point and I was at a point where I was trying to get settled into life with a toddler. I was working at the time, but dreaming of one day starting a side hustle that could turn into a career. I loved listening to the podcast when it seemed the host was just a few steps ahead of me and it felt like I got that mentorship through her podcast.
But as her focus shifted, it was like I could tell she was moving out of the place she was at — where I strived to be — and moving in a different direction.
And then, she stopped the show. And I was at a bit of a loss.
I can’t believe i found this photo and I can’t remember why I took this, but it just happened to be my phone from 2013 with My Podcasts on the screen! I honestly miss the old iTunes/Apple Podcasts layout and honestly wish I could find a similar Android app sometimes.
Almost immediately, she started a brand new show with a focus more on her travels and less on the parenting content I loved from her.
You may have noticed I haven't mentioned the host or the podcast name.
The podcast, itself, isn't available anymore. When she wrapped it up, she said she had a habit of wanting clean starts. So as soon as the new podcast was available, the old podcast was gone. Gone from her website, gone from podcast directories, gone from the internet for good (well, unless you knew where to look, but that's another story).
I tried listening to her new show and, while I still liked her style of conversation, I found I wasn't excited to listen and I didn't relate as much.
Part of me was sad, but by that time I had discovered probably a dozen or so more podcasts I was making time for.
She rebranded her blog, again shifting more toward travel with her kids, who were older and at a different stage than mine, and I stopped following after a while. Her next book came out, but again it was very travel-focused and that just wasn't what I wanted to read about.
It's been about a decade since I was the biggest super fan of this show and the host. I honestly don't know what made me think of her today, but I realized that I'm now about at the stage she was at when I was first listening to her — I now work for myself and enjoy the balancing act of creative entrepreneurship and parenting, as well as holding space for myself, my spirituality, and my passions, like she showed me was possible.
All that to say you never know who you will influence as a podcaster and your audience may not always be the same as it was or the same as it is now.
There will be people who find your show at just the right time when they need it most. And then they may grow out of it, or you'll grow out of the show, or the show will change. Super listeners will come and go. That's all OK.
I checked up on this podcast host recently to find out she's on her 3rd or 4th podcast now. She's written even more books and has shifted her focus more to her faith and being a Catholic convert. I'm happy for her and hope she's enjoying her journey down that path — but again it's not for me (an agnostic ex-vangelical) and I probably won't be tuning in.
But again, that's fine! She's found her audience, she's still selling books and using her podcast to bring people to her blog who will happily devour all that content. I also know that if anyone I came across were interested in something she talks about, I would recommend her stuff in a second. (If this is you, you can find her here.)
So stop trying to please everyone with your show, including those who want to keep you contained in a place you're growing out of. If you're thinking seriously about pivoting, once again I'll remind you — it's your podcast and you’re allowed to change it to fit the chapter you’re at in life. 🙂
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