I was digging through some old notes a few weeks ago and came across two lists I wrote back in 2014. I labeled the first as “some of the things I would love to tell teenagers today,” but if I’m being honest with myself, it’s a list of things I wish I could have gone back in time to tell myself when I was younger. The second is simply labeled “I don’t have all the answers,” and I think it’s a list I made thinking about my present and possible future.
31-year-old Emily back in 2014, trying on an outfit for Austin City Limits music festival and hoping I’m cool enough to pull off this hat.
I was 31 at the time I wrote these lists and wanted to share them, along with some thoughts in bold.
Some of the things I would love to tell teenagers today (first list)
It’s OK not to have plans on a Friday night or a Saturday night. Or both. Sometimes it’s awesome just to binge-watch a series on Netflix on the couch. (still true at 40)
It’s much better to have a few close friends than be a part of a group you don’t feel close to. (still true at 40)
Fashion doesn’t have to be hard. Pick a classic look and accessorize it. Spend good money on the basics, then you have more of a budget for accessories. Nobody will pay as much attention to your outfit as you will. (still true at 40)
Try new things. Not very often, if it’s uncomfortable. Once a month should suffice. Just keep learning. (still true at 40, but hopefully more frequently than once a month)
Learn to appreciate silence. In a world where devices are constantly on, sometimes it’s nice just to sit in silence, even if it’s just driving in it with your own thoughts. (still true at 40, even moreso as a podcast editor who listened to people talk all day long it seems)
I also don’t have all the answers (second list):
I’ll always be afraid of my bosses. No matter how much older they are than I am, they’ll always intimidate me and I’ll never feel comfortable enough to talk to them. (NOT true at 40! Only because I work for myself now and I’m out of toxic corporate culture now.)
I’ve had the same stupid face in every picture anyone ever takes of me when I’ve been drinking. I’ve come to love it, though. (NOT true at 40 because I stopped drinking and realize that drunk smile was actually phoney, and the happiness faded when the alcohol wore off. I loved the mask I was using and thought it was better and more pleasing to others than who I was when I was sober, at the time.)
At least I know when my hormones are causing me to be out of whack. However, I still can’t control them any better than when I was a teenager. (still true at 40. Damn.)
If I don’t pay my bills right on the day I get paid, they won’t get paid. It’s a good system, very grown-up and all, but it’s really more of an insurance policy. (still true at 40, though now I have a system and reminders for bills. I needed to do a lot of inner work on my money mindset to get to a place of feeling secure in my finances, thanks to being the editor of some great personal finance podcasts that taught me the financial literacy I never learned at home or school — shoutout to Journey to Launch, Worth Listening, and Your Money Mamas!)
I can never spell broccoli correctly the first time. (still true at 40)
This was written nine years ago and it amuses me that not much has changed, and in fact, I feel like I’ve come across a past Save Point of mine from a video game or something by finding these lists. Some of these lessons and ideas are so ingrained in me now, but at the time felt like new self-discoveries, and I wrote them down in an attempt to cement them into my psyche. I guess it worked, and I even leveled up in a few instances, I think.
At the time I wrote this, I was in therapy for anxiety and had gotten my ADHD diagnosis, but hadn’t really dug into learning what it meant for me (or even how things like hormones and alcohol usage affected my ADHD.
If I were to write a list for my teenage self now, I think it would simply say, “Hey, stop beating yourself up so much and overthinking.”
Actually, come to think of it, I could use that same advice at 40. Maybe at any age.
And perhaps one day I’ll come across this post or the draft in my notes and probably still not be able to spell broccoli on the first try (that time, it was “brocili” but spellcheck quickly fixed it automatically).
P.S. — I recently talked about finding this list on my podcast appearance on Wellness While Walking, where I got to share my morning routine and how I navigate it with kids and ADHD. Be sure to check it out on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or listen directly on the website here!
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