Shout-out to Pilot Frixion erasable highlighters! They’ve been fantastic for all the notes I take during rehearsal!
Over the summer, I started going to church (I actually found it by googling “chuch for agnostics” and learning about Unitarian Universalism) and I ended up joining the choir. We’ve had weekly rehearsals and I’ve noticed my mood is always noticeably improved afterwards. I’ve been meaning to write about it for some time, but I found myself enjoying being swept up in another creative expression hobby and letting my (published) writing go more by the wayside the last few weeks. On top of that, our holiday concert is coming up and we’ve been ramping up rehearsal time.
We’ve been working on holiday songs for the December choir concert since September so I’ve joked that I’ve been microdosing on the holidays for a while now. Since my church has members of a number of different faiths, we have a selection of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Yule songs. It’s very similar to the holiday concerts I did in public school choir, though Yule songs are a first for me, I think!
Singing has been such a mood changer for me the past few months. I always feel better after singing and I’m honestly surprised it’s taken this long to be involved in something musically again. I was in a choir when I was pregnant with my 11-year-old, and I was in a few more musicals before she turned 1, but then I ended up getting back into full-time journalism work and puttin theater and music on hold. I remember at the cast party for a production of “Sweeney Todd” talking to my musical director and lamenting how I had to go back to a Big Girl job with no time for theater again. I wanted it to be a joke, but I also realistically realized that theater with a job AND kids is incredibly hard to do. But I still had it in my head that it was “on hold.”
Podcasting gave me some of that joy of performing. There’s definitely a “Podcast Emily” that’s a bit more of an entertainer and jokester. I love reading my writing and making people laugh on the mic so much, but whenever I find myself singing – and especially when I’m performing a song really well – I feel this indescribable sense of freedom and power to command attention. My voice is loud and I have a decent range. I think it surprises people how powerful my singing voice can be. As I said I have a belt so I have some power to my low register, but I originally trained as a high soprano so it can also be high and sickly sweet-sounding.
That’s what happens when you grow up idolizing Julie Andrews. When I‘m hitting those high soprano notes, I’m not thinking, “I hope my voice can go that high,” instead I’m thniking, “how would Julie hit that note? I’ll try to do it like she would.”
Has all this choir taken me away from some of my other projects?
Yes.
But I’ve been trying not to let guilt creep into my head too much. As much as I wanted to have launched my podcast by now, I’m glad for the distraction actually. I was overthinking it a bit and hit writer’s block – writer’s block for me is different than the commonly known problem of not being able to think of anything to write. I had the opposite problem of coming up with premises of posts and even outlining them, but my interest stopped there and I haven’t been able to commit to finishing a post in the last few weeks.
Singing has been a welcome creative pivot for a while. The last time I used my singing voice really was for The Story Behind Musical episode, which is still my favorite podcast episode ever.
What is it about aging and approaching middle age that makes so many of us go back and revisit some of our interests we had as kids? I don’t think it’s just me, consider my interest in roller skating last year was shared by a few friends my age. I sometimes wished I pursued more musical interests, but I had trouble with music theory and reading music isn’t something I particularly enjoy. But I love warmng up and playing with my range, I love that I can harmoize easily, and I love that I have a strong voice. I always loved listening to different singers and trying to emulate them. I’ll never turn down an opportunity to show off my impersonation of Ethel Merman. (It’s shrill and ridiculous. She’d probably hate it. Sorry, Ethel.)
When I joined the choir. it was the first time singing soprano since I was in college about 20 years ago. When I started smoking cigarettes at 19, my Soprano I voice dropped soon after. Over the years, I would find songs for karaoke sung by Tenors or ones that I could sing and play with this new-found belt I had. My friend who’s a phenomenal opera singer actually told me that lots of sopranos have strong belts.
For the record, I dont recommend smoking to anyone, I really don’t. But there’s a stronger belt in me because of it. When I went from cigarettes to vaping to quitting, I was excited to hear my higher register slowly returning, but I didn’t do anything with it, other than the occasional musical soundtrack sing-along in the car.
However when the choir director asked what part I sang, I felt confident in saying I could do whatever she needed. Turns out, they needed more Sopranos and I was all too happy to volunteer, especially when I found out our holiday concert ends with Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus,” which I know by heart from singing it in high school at every holiday concert, but only the soprano part!
My son joined the children's choir, too. He’s at the age I was when I joined my first choir actually. It makes me so happy to hear his little voice, especially because I can hear his own raw talent just beginning to bud. I’m also grateful he’s learning about different religions through his music. We’re a pretty atheist/agnostic household so religion doesn’t get brought up very often. He has three songs: a Hanukkah song, the Chipmunk Christmas song, and a song for Chalica, which is a Unitarin Universalist holiday.
So that brings us to now, a week before our holiday concert. I took the month of December off from consulting with the idea I would have some down time, but surprisingly my Fairy Hair business has picked up to fill the space. On top of last-minute holiday events for the kids and all the bustle that goes along with this month, choir has been a welcome weekly break — and the last few rehearsals have been the second wind I’ve needed to perk me up after a long day so I can get my late-night podcasting work done.
I keep telling myself I’ll have more time for writing and podcasting after the concert is over, but part of me is also enjoying this little artistic detour I’ve taken and hoping to explore it more in the new year!
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