Is it possible to be both incredibly overwhelmed, but also enjoying the season? I think it is when it’s the fall in the Northeast.
Originally this week, I was supposed to be at She Podcasts Live, but the conference was postponed until June of 2023. But my husband still took the week off so I have a bit more breathing room than I’ve had in a while to hopefully catch up (as I’ve been saying every week).
With the start of the school year, our family has been taking some time to adjust to the new season.
I haven’t had as much time to post online, aside from documenting my adventures on Instagram like our trip to the Big E, our early fall hike, and even my day trip into New York City for the Podfest mini-conference and meetup.
My personal projects have taken more of a backseat to podcast editing client work, family priorities, and unexpected ailments that have hit our house. My writing is usually saved for more introspective journaling, to-do lists and things to keep track of, and brain dumps. Sometimes I’ll even outline blog posts and content ideas I want to do later and add them to an ongoing writing to-do list I call my W.I.P. (Works In Progress). Maybe I’ll write about that at some point — adding that to the list!
My dream vacation would be someone literally locking me in a cabin with all the food, music, and electric blankets I could want and telling me I couldn’t leave until I wrote all those posts I have waiting for me. But since that doesn’t seem like it’s a realistic possibility anytime soon, let this post act as a placeholder for now to at least continue my practice of writing for an audience.
Even if these quick updates aren’t much, just posting is actually a test of my own courage to post some days. Impostor Syndrome is so funny because there are times when I feel overwhelmingly guilty for not posting anything, thinking everyone’s mad at me for letting them down when I say I’m an educator and content creator. I picture my followers saying things like, “Remember when she would post nonstop about podcasting? How dare she let motherhood swallow her up and only give us little tidbits here and there now.”
No one ever has, except that Itty Bitty Sh*tty Committee (IBSC, in future references 😉) that lives in my head rent-free and tortures me the way Impostor Syndrome/Social Anxiety is known to do.
And then there are other days when I feel like posting anything is just adding to the ongoing noise of the world and I’m just part of the problem of why everyone’s distracted all the time and can’t focus.
Those days, the IBSC says things like, “No one wants to hear from you. What do you have to add? What good is this doing? You’re just making more noise. You could skip posting and the world would be a bit quieter.”
It’s odd how those voices get louder when I’m out of the practice of posting or putting out anything creative. For a long time, I felt like I could only comfortably be creative online. But in the last few months, I’ve been finding new ways to connect to my local community and putting my physical self out there more.
I can wait to share some of those adventures here, including talking about my second business as a Fairy Hair stylist and my finding the UU community.
I've really come to love going to my "little hippie agnostic church"* every Sunday.
— Emily Prokop ☮️ (@EmilyPeckProkop) September 18, 2022
No deities, no fire or brimstone, no guilt or shame. Just a lovely community of people who like to come together weekly, sing, and enjoy learning about different aspects of spirituality.
I have a post I can’t wait to share that’s waiting for me to edit and post all about deconstructing some of my religious past — a process I didn’t expect would lead to finding a non-Christian church I loved going to every week, but the universe is surprising in that way.
If you’ve followed my Instagram stories, I’ve talked about it a little. I’ve also started a thread on Twitter to add weekly notes from services on Sundays.
I’m still working on getting Emily: Out Loud podcast up and running, too! I recorded episode 3, based on this blog post about ADHD, Adenomyosis, and some other introductory topics I’ve covered in the past on this blog that I can’t wait to edit and add to the collection. (You can preview Episode 1: Tackling my To-Do List with ADHD and Episode 2: An Invitation to Pause in Nature on the blog already!)
My September was also packed with more podcast consulting than usual! I have a blog post written and waiting for me to edit for my podcasting blog with frequently asked questions I get as a podcast consultant. I thought I was pretty much done with the post, but when I put out a Tweet asking for additional questions from podcasters, I ended up getting so many good follow-up questions, I either have to make the post longer or create a Part 2! For those waiting for that, I promise it’s coming 🙂
As I mentioned, we’ve had some sickness making its way around the house with the start of school. This week, my son is already sniffling more than usual so I’m wondering if this is the start of yet ANOTHER bout of illness, so who knows if any of these projects come to completion soon, but here’s hoping! Being able to write and edit this post in a single day gives me hope, though!
Thank you so much for your continued readership! I actually happened upon my journal entry from October 7 of last year that was all about wanting to write again and the brainstorming that led to creating Emily: Out Loud almost a year ago!
Because I’ve allowed myself grace in posting, it’s been one of my favorite creative projects to come back to every few weeks — guilt-free! There’s no shame when I need to pull back. And maybe one day, it’ll be even bigger than a simple passion project. But even if it never grows bigger than this, I’m grateful you’re here reading this and that I can share these little peaks at my life with you.
Happy fall, everyone! Hope you’re enjoying the season and all the busyness that comes with it 😉
And if you saw me post about this on Twitter, please know that it was the most terrifying moment of the day for me and my Impostor Syndrome!
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