Waiting in the ICU for my mom to come back from an MRI after a seizure.
I took this photo the other day in the hospital while waiting for my mom to get back from an MRI. She had a seizure the last week of November after a mini-stroke/TIA a few weeks earlier. Her health has been up in-the-air and, to be honest, it’s been a really difficult time.
Like last month, I’m still keeping an eye on my mental health, but with so much that seems out of my control right now, the overwhelm has meant a few more dark days. I’m using flowery language a bit. I’ve had days where everything is just f*cking terrible and feel like they kick my ass.
There. That’s much more honest.
I won’t even go into the anger and outrage I have over the current news cycle. Just … unbelievable. And this is coming from a former journalist.
And I know I’m not alone in this feeling of stress and overwhelm. So if this is also you, does anyone else want to meet at 8 p.m. on the roof of a parking garage downtown and have a primal scream, like I used to do in college during finals week to let it all out?
***
November’s focus was to Write and I’m very excited to announce that at the end of the month, I wrote a total of (roughly) 35,000 words! A lot of them were even published on this blog, which I’m immensely proud of. I’ve really started putting myself out there and it’s been fantastic. I haven’t been talking about the blog on social media, though the link is in my bio link.
I’m not 100 percent sure why, though I have a feeling folks have already found it. If that’s you, thank you 🙂 I have a sticky note I wrote one day when I was feeling frustrated about how I wish I could feel the way I do when I’m writing about everything in life.
On it, I scribbled, “I write to process life. I write to live.”
It was a quick thought that came to me that felt like the permission I needed to continue writing for others. Sometimes I wrote these entries with Past-Emily in mind. If I could go back and give her a playbook of navigating her future, I would in an instant. But I can’t. The best I can do is hopefully put out my own thoughts to connect with others who feel similarly or who enjoy my style of writing perhaps.
I’ve really enjoyed writing with the idea others are going to read it again. I would journal every morning for the past few years, coming to these great conclusions and putting plans into action, and then realize I was doing nothing with these lessons I was learning.
I know I want to share these things with the world and, for now, writing is the best way I can do that.
I didn’t take part in NaNoWriMo this year, but having a writing goal for a month was a great exercise for me I think. I’m going to continue it in December, as well as take the month a little easy and appreciate the slowness of life. Some of my clients are taking time off for the holidays, which I’m going to take advantage of for myself.
But I’ll still continue to write! I kind of can’t stop at this point 😉
I still have a lot of drafts that need editing, links and photos, plus tons of ideas (it’s one of my ADHD gifts) for future posts! In the meantime, hope you enjoyed this month’s posts!
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This Month’s Blog Posts
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