Why is starting a project so hard for people with ADHD? We know what we need to do, we know how it needs to get done, maybe we can even picture the finished product or goal so clearly.
But taking that first step is the part that our brains get stuck on.
For me, getting the energy to start something feels like that long ascension a roller coaster takes to get up to the first big drop. I know once I’m in motion, I’ll be fine, but getting up the motivation to start is just … UGGGGGHHHHHH!
I’ve learned two things about that feeling:
It doesn’t help to call myself “lazy.” Believe it or not, beating myself up doesn’t make me a better person or make me stop acting a certain way — usually it just reinforces the negative mindset and makes it easier for my brain to play those kinds of messages on repeat. Hello, self-sabotage!
It’s better to acknowledge that feeling of not wanting to do something and getting curious about it. Naming it helps too. Am I not doing something because it’s too hard, unclear, repetitive, uninteresting, unfamiliar, or overwhelming? As soon as I can pinpoint the reason I’m having trouble starting, I can usually start to take steps to remedy that.
For example, if a task is boring, like doing dishes, I’ve learned to add music and dancing. Or I’ll gamify it by guessing how long it’ll take and then trying to beat that time. I have an ongoing game with myself to unload and load our countertop dishwasher in 4 minutes, and I’ll put on a song and “race” that song to finish.
But when it comes to cleaning a whole room, my favorite trick is to find Step 1.
If I’m cleaning the bedroom, Step 1 is to make the bed. I’ve been doing this as Step 1 to clean my room since I was a teenager and would let my room get to the messy point of having a single path from the bed to the door. Usually making the bed was the quickest way to see a noticeable difference to inspire me to keep going, plus it would give me a clear surface to help make sense of the mess as I went through it all.
In the bathroom, my Step 1 is to clean the mirror. Then I go counterclockwise around the rest of the room cleaning the sink, toilet, bath/shower, then the floor.
Similarly in the kitchen, Step 1 is to empty and reload the dishwasher. Then I clean in a counterclockwise motion all the way around the room.
I wish I could remember what I meant when I wrote “party morning routine” next to “Dishwasher” 😂 I have a feeling it’s in reference to my need to listen to music and dance usually.
A few months ago, I had the idea to write this post and I scribbled on a sticky-note with my Step 1s for all the rooms in the house. Then I promptly lost the sticky note (lol), but recently came across it when cleaning my room actually.
But luckily I came across it again and I finally got this post out of my head and hopefully you can relate.
For those who also struggle with cleaning on a regular basis, what do you find that helps? What are some of your go-to Step 1s for starting a cleaning project that start you off on the right foot? Let me know in the comments 🙂
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